The Queendom of Mystiquelle is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Love with a fair hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, daily referendums, and free-roaming dinosaurs. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 20.798 billion Mystics hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ascension. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 22.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Mystiquellean economy, worth a remarkable 2,797 trillion Faiths a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 134,525 Faiths, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 387,362 per year while the poor average 37,107, a ratio of 10.4 to 1.

Bored politicians often entertain themselves with games of Simon during important votes, the public health bureaucracy is wrapped in miles of red tape, crowds of flag-burning protesters tend to accidentally become crowds of burning protesters, and orphans would rather live their life of luxury than be adopted by prospective parents. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Mystiquelle's national animal is the Hope, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Kindness.

Mystiquelle is ranked 286,602^nd in the world and 6,133^rd in The North Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -482.29 on the Scary Big Number Scale.