The Commonwealth of New Lakemba is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by The Committee with a fair hand, and renowned for its complete lack of prisons, irreverence towards religion, and hatred of cheese. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 19.669 billion New Lakembans are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, liberal, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Canberra. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient New Lakemban economy, worth a remarkable 6,782 trillion New Lakembian Standard Kebabs a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 344,846 New Lakembian Standard Kebabs, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The acceptance of acupuncture and other alternative therapies has needled the scientific community, The Committee's office has a newly installed Max-Man arcade game programmed by a 5th-grader, social networking sites have discussion groups devoted to planning terrorist attacks, and most citizens in New Lakemba are abject pyrophobes after extremely graphic pamphlets were mailed nationwide by the government. Crime is totally unknown. New Lakemba's national animal is the Animal Kingdom, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

New Lakemba is ranked 293,049^th in the world and 6,462^nd in The North Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -1386.79 on the Scary Big Number Scale.