The Chaotic Nightmare Nation of Zandos is a huge, cultured nation, ruled by Eggward The Third with a fair hand, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, state-planned economy, and national health service. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 826 million Zandosians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The relatively small, corrupt, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Zandian. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 9.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Zandosi economy, worth 107 trillion Zandollas a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, broadly diversified black market in Information Technology, Retail, Soda Sales, and Arms Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 129,994 Zandollas, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 437,749 per year while the poor average 28,600, a ratio of 15.3 to 1.

Claiming to have performed the Heimlich Maneuver is a popular defense for assault charges, nervous homeowners have been blamed for rising death rates amongst carol singers and locksmiths, the government spends more on chasing distant comets than on basic infrastructure, and national parks have long lines of different gender-specific 'Porta-Pottys'. Crime, especially youth-related, is pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Zandos's national animal is the D U C C, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Zandos is ranked 275,345^th in the world and 5,725^th in The North Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -283.48 on the Scary Big Number Scale.