The Federal Republic of Tesco Aisle 17 is a huge, environmentally stunning nation, renowned for its sprawling nuclear power plants, public floggings, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 684 million Tesconians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Education, and Industry also on the agenda, while International Aid and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Garden City. The average income tax rate is 38.8%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Tesconian economy, worth 71.6 trillion Meal Deals a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Tourism. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 104,744 Meal Deals, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

The police turn a blind eye to desecration if it's done in the name of religion or protest, graffiti artists spend lengthy periods of time in jail, the nation is currently revamping its entire education system, and church and state are inseparable in their influence on education. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tesco Aisle 17's national animal is the Clubcard, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Tesco Aisle 17 is ranked 90,113^th in the world and 1,839^th in The North Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring 12.92 on the Scary Big Number Scale.