The Republic of Hyphen is a colossal, efficient nation, notable for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, anti-smoking policies, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cynical population of 5.663 billion Hyphenians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Capolity. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 73.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Hyphenian economy, worth 500 trillion Pacific Dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology and Book Publishing. Average income is 88,411 Pacific Dollars, with the richest citizens earning 6.7 times as much as the poorest.

Hordes of unemployed lumberjacks have resorted to cutting down utility poles to satisfy their cravings, internet trolls are considered valiant supporters of the right to free speech, students memorise knock-knock jokes for their mandatory twice-a-term Comedy Examinations, and songs in 4/4 time are simply too common for the musical cognoscenti. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Hyphen's national animal is the dragon, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Flemingovianism.

Hyphen is ranked 251,986^th in the world and 5,073^rd in The North Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -158.52 on the Scary Big Number Scale.