The People's Republic of Habanan is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Sparax Epolonius Jr with an iron fist, and renowned for its ubiquitous missile silos, zero percent divorce rate, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 14.378 billion Habananians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kazumri. The average income tax rate is 96.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Habananian economy, worth a remarkable 2,455 trillion Haban dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Tourism. Average income is an impressive 170,770 Haban dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Atheistic refugees haven't got a prayer of being granted asylum, quiet professionalism has returned to the nation's armed forces, modelling agencies send their clients to work in nursing homes, and people are often woken up by rubbish music. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Habanan's national animal is the Habanan Lion, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Lord Sparax Epolonius.

Habanan is ranked 16,926^th in the world and 724^th in The North Pacific for Most Cultured, scoring 97 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.