The Unironic Monarchist of Depressive-State is a huge, efficient nation, renowned for its infamous sell-swords, complete lack of prisons, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 620 million Depressive-Stateans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Law & Order, Education, and Administration also on the agenda, while Social Policy and Environment receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of VoxTek Enterprises. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 36.1%.

The thriving Depressive-Statean economy, worth 57.4 trillion Whiskey Bottles a year, is dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Uranium Mining, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 92,560 Whiskey Bottles, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 457,559 per year while the poor average 10,642, a ratio of 43.0 to 1.

Boot polish is the favourite lip gloss of entry-level corporate workers, many believe that the only good Anti-Monarchist is a dead Anti-Monarchist, sending sick politicians "Get Well Soon" cards is considered bribery, and doctors prescribe medicines produced by the last pharmaceutical company to give them a free pen. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Depressive-State's national animal is the Anti-Monarchist, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Depressive-State is ranked 20,929^th in the world and 448^th in The North Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring 79.64 on the Scary Big Number Scale.