The Democratic Republic of Putzilvania is a massive, genial nation, ruled by Schmendick Johnson with an even hand, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, punitive income tax rates, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 3.07 billion Putzilvanians enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The enormous, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Magrittemore. The average income tax rate is 95.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Putzilvanian economy, worth 415 trillion filthy-lucres a year, is highly specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Trout Farming. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 135,288 filthy-lucres, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Soldiers find that home gadgets and power tools are more effective as improvised weapons than the guns they've been issued, surgical tape has taken on a distinctly red color, citizens are exhausted from weekly general elections, and maximum security fish farms leave caged salmon pining for the fjords. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Putzilvania's national animal is the Big-Headed Crow, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Neutrality.

Putzilvania is ranked 277,406^th in the world and 5,802^nd in The North Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -301.62 on the Scary Big Number Scale.