The Federal Republic of Photan is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Vorteen Of San Ming with an iron fist, and remarkable for its deadly medical pandemics, pith helmet sales, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 2.744 billion Photanians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Shveersterdam. The average income tax rate is 86.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Photanian economy, worth 449 trillion bahtons a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 163,977 bahtons, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

A signed affidavit from a prominent anti-corruption advocate declares that she is in fact a crook after all, the nation's latest batch of politicians include internet comedians, an alleged serial killer, and a highly trained Rooster, refugees from other nations are flocking to Photan's border, and cars are banned. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Photan's national animal is the Rooster, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Photan is ranked 229,774^th in the world and 4,596^th in The North Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -107.96 on the Scary Big Number Scale.