The Volcanic Islands of Nistriabar is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by The Prime Alderman with a fair hand, and notable for its keen interest in outer space, ubiquitous missile silos, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 9.082 billion Nistrians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The large, corrupt, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Industry, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mako. The average income tax rate is 95.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Nistriabarian economy, worth a remarkable 2,049 trillion Nistis a year, is dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 225,635 Nistis, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

Rebuilding efforts for a recently destroyed cathedral aren't expected to be completed for another century, cosmopolitan citizens ask what their countries can do for them, military equipment stores have a tendency to go up in flames, and 'A is for Annulment' is a popular children's song. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Nistriabar's national animal is the White Shark, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is State Atheism.

Nistriabar is ranked 291,513^th in the world and 6,387^th in The North Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -771.57 on the Scary Big Number Scale.