The Empire of Quioni is a huge, safe nation, ruled by Ponyboy Curtis with an even hand, and notable for its national health service, irreverence towards religion, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate population of 804 million Quionians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Healthcare, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Armadale. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 65.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Quionian economy, worth 75.5 trillion Dollarias a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Basket Weaving, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 93,925 Dollarias, with the richest citizens earning 6.0 times as much as the poorest.

The government is reining in public spending, every new building project has to undergo a five-year environmental impact study before it can go ahead, 3D printed organs are a breath of new life for the sick and elderly, and criminals and college students are taking an interest in the government's new weed-killing program. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Quioni's national animal is the Knightus, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Quioni is ranked 244,162^nd in the world and 4,920^th in The North Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -136.07 on the Scary Big Number Scale.