The Empire of Saint-Dauphin is a massive, genial nation, ruled by Empress Helena with an even hand, and notable for its strictly enforced bedtime, daily referendums, and restrictive gun laws. The democratic population of 1.371 billion Dauphinois have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government prioritizes Education, with Industry, Administration, and Environment also on the agenda, while Spirituality and International Aid aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Gaia. The average income tax rate is 38.4%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Dauphinois economy, worth 165 trillion Dauphins a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Retail. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 121,009 Dauphins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.5 times as much as the poorest.

One does not simply walk into the tundra, the government keeps introducing new foreign species to combat the previous ones it has introduced, whenever pilots have to bail out the government bails out their company, and the Fashion Channel can only be viewed on widescreen TVs. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Saint-Dauphin's national animal is the Owl, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Laicism.

Saint-Dauphin is ranked 276,169^th in the world and 5,747^th in The North Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -291.24 on the Scary Big Number Scale.