The United Republican Federation of Mortionia is a massive, genial nation, ruled by Gustavo Rasdrani with a fair hand, and notable for its sprawling nuclear power plants, punitive income tax rates, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic population of 3.975 billion Mortionians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, liberal, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Morbinville. The average income tax rate is 90.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Mortionian economy, worth 620 trillion Mortionian lire a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 156,080 Mortionian lire, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The best way to be heard in politics is to speak softly and carry a big comedy prop, a popular saying is "a chicken for every pot and an abortion clinic on every street", traumatised refugees have a full bedpan shoved into their hands along with their immigration papers, and fixing attendance at women's matches is a matter of "when they go low, we go high... funding". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Mortionia's national animal is the Morbius, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Mortionia is ranked 8,412^th in the world and 368^th in The North Pacific for Most Cultured, scoring 130 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.