The Constitutional Monarchy of Clocriestes is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Gabe Caldiri with an even hand, and renowned for its ban on automobiles, punitive income tax rates, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, devout population of 1.027 billion Clocriestesians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Abbotsford. The average income tax rate is 68.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Clocriestesian economy, worth 97.8 trillion dollars a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Cheese Exports. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 95,231 dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Space shuttles are lying silent on the runway till the Space Agency can work out how to fit a creche and a meditation room into their next spacecraft, military equipment stores have a tendency to go up in flames, the most popular stadium acts are one-off performances, and no animal is considered endangered if there's another that looks kind of like it. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Clocriestes's national animal is the Moose, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is THE KARTEL SMNN RELIGION.

Clocriestes is ranked 182,965^th in the world and 3,564^th in The North Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -72.21 on the Scary Big Number Scale.