The KickAss Corrections Officers of SORT is a gargantuan, safe nation, renowned for its pith helmet sales, zero percent divorce rate, and hatred of cheese. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 19.554 billion SORTans are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Healthcare, Law & Order, and Education also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Florence. The average income tax rate is 95.1%.

The frighteningly efficient SORTan economy, worth a remarkable 2,207 trillion dollars a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 112,873 dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Maxtopians are both starving and giddy after the SORTan military unleashed its biological weapons, nuclear submarines have been deployed to protect the nation's banana supply, the nation is wading into dangerous waters, and the military is researching proton packs and PK-meters to combat "unseen enemy forces". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. SORT's national animal is the eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

SORT is ranked 275,824^th in the world and 6,048^th in The North Pacific for Nicest Citizens, with 0.45 average smiles per day.