The Holy Kingdom of Ellbonnia is a colossal, efficient nation, notable for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, restrictive gun laws, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate population of 7.622 billion Ellbonnians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ptolemaeus. The average income tax rate is 98.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Ellbonnian economy, worth a remarkable 1,563 trillion Crowns a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 205,116 Crowns, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Ellbonnian athletes are close to breaking the 2 minute mile and the 16 meter long jump, a sledgehammer and a spray can are seen as the default tools of political debate, a stocking with a crooked seam or a tie without a full Windsor knot are grounds for instant dismissal, and doctors spend more time writing sick notes than caring for the sick. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ellbonnia's national animal is the Usean bison, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Ellbonnia is ranked 1,866^th in the world and 83^rd in The North Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 147.52 law-abiding acts per hour.