The Republic of Caiov is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Arthur Alexandre with an even hand, and remarkable for its deadly medical pandemics, free-roaming dinosaurs, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 2.941 billion Caiorenses have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of caio. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 4.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Caiorense economy, worth 421 trillion caios a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Arms Manufacturing, and Information Technology. Black market activity is notable. Average income is an impressive 143,331 caios, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 495,121 per year while the poor average 30,345, a ratio of 16.3 to 1.

The number of children one can have is restricted by law, hundreds of thousands of convicts work as slaves in Caiov's many privately-owned prisons, an increasing number of citizens believe the world is flat, and an online tea-bagging epidemic is getting worse and (meta)worse. Crime, especially youth-related, is well under control. Caiov's national animal is the fox, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Católica.

Caiov is ranked 247,440^th in the world and 4,978^th in The North Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -145.4 on the Scary Big Number Scale.