The Empire of Michigander is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by National Elected-Emperor Jake with a fair hand, and notable for its ubiquitous missile silos, vat-grown people, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic population of 2.325 billion Michiganderians love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Michigander City. The average income tax rate is 82.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Michiganderian economy, worth 430 trillion Dollaridoos a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an impressive 185,321 Dollaridoos, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Nations that kill a Michiganderian can expect a strongly worded letter, soldiers are equipped with multi-million Dollaridoos battlesuits, 100-year-old politicians are now a thing of the past, and the nation's atlases tend to go out of date every few weeks. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Michigander's national animal is the Northern Mockingbird, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Michigander is ranked 290,893^rd in the world and 6,343^rd in The North Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -753.32 on the Scary Big Number Scale.