The Commonwealth of Lamuell is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Grand Chancellor Comouchi with an even hand, and renowned for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, complete lack of prisons, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate, cheerful population of 9.236 billion Lamuellians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lamuell Funland City. The average income tax rate is 99.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Lamuellian economy, worth a remarkable 1,869 trillion Francuezzes a year, is highly specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 202,390 Francuezzes, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

50% of adverts on children's television are for clothes made of cotton wool, passive-aggressive congratulations cards inform mums-to-be that their pregnancy is their greatest achievement in life, arguments about toilet seats being left up or down get surprisingly heated, and gaping tourists take long-distance photos of diseased natives on "indigenous peoples" safari tours. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Lamuell's national animal is the French Panda, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Lamuell is ranked 1,413^th in the world and 66^th in The North Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 157.74 law-abiding acts per hour.