The Most Serene Republic of Balto is a huge, genial nation, renowned for its compulsory vegetarianism, state-planned economy, and complete lack of prisons. The compassionate population of 617 million Yognaughts are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Seaportattleland. The average income tax rate is 68.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but inefficient Baltoan economy, worth 31.5 trillion Jaffa Cakes a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is dominated by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Basket Weaving, Information Technology, and Cheese Exports. Average income is 50,975 Jaffa Cakes, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

A byzantine web of conspiracies and secret alliances must be navigated any time legislation is voted upon, orphans would rather live their life of luxury than be adopted by prospective parents, over a third of the seats in sports stadiums have been removed to make room for female-only commodes, and daring to agree with another politician is grounds for instant dismissal. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Balto's national animal is the Crab People, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Balto is ranked 169,731^st in the world and 3,306^th in The North Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -65 on the Scary Big Number Scale.