The Holy Empire of Lemonbiscuits is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Leader with an even hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, compulsory military service, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, devout population of 18.685 billion Lemonbiscuits are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lemonbiscuits City. The average income tax rate is 93.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Lemonbiscuitinarian economy, worth a remarkable 2,670 trillion Crumbs a year, is highly specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 142,919 Crumbs, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Morning coffees are no longer the same since the disappearance of newspapers, the carbon tax fund gladly supplies warm blankets when the poor can't pay their heating bills, a faint smell of body odour can be detected at several miles distance from the National Science Park, and death row inmates cower in fear at the phrase "one-year anniversary". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Lemonbiscuits's national animal is the Crab, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is a major religion.

Lemonbiscuits is ranked 285,746^th in the world and 6,095^th in The North Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -457.57 on the Scary Big Number Scale.