The Imperium of Velon is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by SQUEE with a fair hand, and notable for its museums and concert halls, daily referendums, and frequent executions. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 40.787 billion velonians love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The relatively small government is effectively ruled by the Department of Education, although Healthcare, Public Transport, and Environment are also considered important, while Spirituality and Defense aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of poopopolis. The average income tax rate is 6.7%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse velonian economy, worth a remarkable 9,622 trillion donut holes a year, is quite specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Information Technology, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 235,925 donut holes, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Sharing vacation pictures requires written consent from the entire beach resort, the saying 'break a leg' is now taken literally, polygraphs are relegated to the dungeon exhibit in castle museums, and the government regularly reassures citizens that there are no monsters under their beds. Crime is almost non-existent. Velon's national animal is the piggus chonkus, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Velon is ranked 286,959^th in the world and 6,163^rd in The North Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -482.31 on the Scary Big Number Scale.