The Chilly Place of Neutral Federation of the Mountains is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by the Federal Council with an iron fist, and notable for its sprawling nuclear power plants, ubiquitous missile silos, and national health service. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 1.343 billion Mountaineers are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The medium-sized, corrupt, pro-business, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mozzarella City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 39.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Mountainsian economy, worth 192 trillion Rockmarks a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Cheese Exports. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an impressive 143,593 Rockmarks, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 761,207 per year while the poor average 14,335, a ratio of 53.1 to 1.

Economists confusingly list "fusarium rot and leaf blight" as major risk factors for monetary deflation, online terrorists are automatically assigned adverts for cheap balaclavas, cheese has become the new icon of political dissent, and school children are expected to know the names of all seven hundred native tribes and their cultural practices. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Neutral Federation of the Mountains's national animal is the dove, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Kitkatism.

Neutral Federation of the Mountains is ranked 274,168^th in the world and 5,674^th in The North Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -270.73 on the Scary Big Number Scale.