The Omaskar puppet of United free lands is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by John Adlington with an even hand, and remarkable for its ubiquitous missile silos, aversion to nipples, and ban on automobiles. The hard-nosed, devout population of 4.362 billion Landians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Freelandia. The average income tax rate is 68.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Landian economy, worth 539 trillion Bets a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Arms Manufacturing, and Soda Sales. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 123,716 Bets, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Primetime re-runs of The Black and White Minstrel Show are a critical hit, parents are really careful to pick the right gun for their kids' birthdays, actively encouraging climate change is helping reduce winter fuel costs, and the lactose-intolerant are force-fed cheese products with predictably gassy results. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. United free lands's national animal is the Persian cat, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Islam.

United free lands is ranked 272,857^th in the world and 5,646^th in The North Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -261.46 on the Scary Big Number Scale.