The United Republics of Abskosmos is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Chancellor Walter Schneider with a fair hand, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, daily referendums, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, democratic population of 1.367 billion Kosmians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, liberal, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Munich. The average income tax rate is 77.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Kosmian economy, worth 152 trillion Marks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 111,544 Marks, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Maxtopian villagers starve by the time Kosmian officials even file the appropriate paperwork needed to help them, foreign policy is mostly just to smile and hope for the best, the national census includes an opt-in to join the government-run dating service, and the government is continually probing the galaxy in search of alien life. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Abskosmos's national animal is the Golden Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Abskosmos is ranked 274,570^th in the world and 5,681^st in The North Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -278 on the Scary Big Number Scale.