The Federal Republic of Panama Coalition is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Supreme Federal President William I with an even hand, and notable for its ubiquitous missile silos, anti-smoking policies, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, hard-working population of 15.626 billion Coalitionist Panamanians enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Panama DC. The average income tax rate is 81.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Panama Coalitionian economy, worth a remarkable 2,269 trillion Balboas a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Retail. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 145,253 Balboas, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Historical commemorations regularly devolve into militaristic jingoism, rumours have it that a secret police is responsible for the recent spate of missing persons, the general public only knows their favorite politician's first name, and it's a marvellous night for a moon dance as the sparks on your home start to rise. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Panama Coalition's national animal is the Aguila Arpia, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Panama Coalition is ranked 285,068^th in the world and 6,079^th in The North Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -436.24 on the Scary Big Number Scale.