The United States of Sagevick is a massive, safe nation, notable for its zero percent divorce rate, ubiquitous missile silos, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate population of 2.989 billion Sagevickians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sagevick City. The average income tax rate is 74.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Sagevickian economy, worth 263 trillion Sagevick Dollars a year, is led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Trout Farming, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 88,053 Sagevick Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Garishly-decorated government buildings are being hailed as the height of 'religious nouveau', buses are widely regarded as the safest way to travel, a suspicious number of male students have joined the Ladies' Wrestling League, and what goes down must come up. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Sagevick's national animal is the Sagevick Eagle-Owls and its national religion is Secularism.

Sagevick is ranked 232,256^th in the world and 4,671^st in The North Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -111.38 on the Scary Big Number Scale.