The Tsardom-Hetmanate of Russian Ukraina is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Ivan with an iron fist, and remarkable for its closed borders, rum-swilling pirates, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 4.475 billion Russki Ukraintsy are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Novy Kharkov. The average income tax rate is 93.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Russki Ukrainski economy, worth 830 trillion Rubles a year, is fairly diversified and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Trout Farming. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 185,512 Rubles, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

Citizens are frequently searched for illegal weapons, graffiti artists spend lengthy periods of time in jail, enterprising game developers are a hop, skip, and a double-jump away from arrest, and imprisonment is the leading cause of disownment. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Russian Ukraina's national animal is the Kon', which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Orthodox Christianity.

Russian Ukraina is ranked 269,445^th in the world and 5,565^th in The North Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -237.01 on the Scary Big Number Scale.