The Kingdom of Merconitonitopia is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by King Montebad II with an iron fist, and notable for its state-planned economy, rampant corporate plagiarism, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 23.349 billion Onitonites are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Spirituality, Environment, and Healthcare are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bahmedag. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Onitonic economy, worth an astonishing 12,847 trillion virtues a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. State-owned companies are the norm. Average income is a breathtaking 550,241 virtues, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The nation's soldiers are considered the best-dressed in The North Pacific, the nation's museums are real penny-pinchers, shelters struggle to keep up with the endless intake of stray animals, and this year's televised Budget Forecast has been cancelled because there was already one last year. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Merconitonitopia's national animal is the dove, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is the Path of Oniton.

Merconitonitopia is ranked 11^th in the world and 1^st in The North Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring 1,245.65 on the Scary Big Number Scale.