The Extreme Procrastinator of Austro-Bavarian States is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by IKEA CEO Voldemort with an iron fist, and notable for its avowedly heterosexual populace, frequent executions, and ban on automobiles. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 3.927 billion Austro-Bavarians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of IKEA HQ. The average income tax rate is 75.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Austro-Bavarian economy, worth 655 trillion IKEA coins a year, is fairly diversified and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Furniture Restoration. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 166,974 IKEA coins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.3 times as much as the poorest.

Funding for education has been redirected into the military, evidence-based arguments can be arrestable offenses, religious classes are compulsory for all school students, and the citizenship exam requires years of study to actually pass. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Austro-Bavarian States's national animal is the IKEA mutant, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is IKEAism.

Austro-Bavarian States is ranked 88,652^nd in the world and 1,818^th in The North Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring 16.44 on the Scary Big Number Scale.