The Federal Republic of Whenyes is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Your Below Average President with a fair hand, and remarkable for its parental licensing program, national health service, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic population of 4.472 billion Whenyesians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Whenyes City. The average income tax rate is 93.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Whenyesian economy, worth 738 trillion Dollars a year, is dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Tourism. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 165,241 Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Passive-aggressive congratulations cards inform mums-to-be that their pregnancy is their greatest achievement in life, military spending is on the increase, the media seems excessively interested in what Your Below Average President is wearing this season, and the world still seems flat to some people in space. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Whenyes's national animal is the Owl, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is The totally normal religion.

Whenyes is ranked 288,673^rd in the world and 6,241^st in The North Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -561.03 on the Scary Big Number Scale.