The Free Land of Privatore is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Capitan Privatore with an even hand, and notable for its national health service, pith helmet sales, and parental licensing program. The hard-nosed, humorless population of 21.675 billion Privatoreans have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The tiny, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Privatore City. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Privatorean economy, worth an astonishing 10,465 trillion Privs a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 482,852 Privs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government seeks peaceful forum with terrorists, criminals rejoice in the streets as the entire police force is sent away on a training retreat, military equipment is being auctioned off to extend comatose centenarians' lives, and AI citizens are criticized for being robotic. Crime is totally unknown. Privatore's national animal is the Weasel, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Privatore is ranked 3,248^th in the world and 70^th in the South Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 128.08 law-abiding acts per hour.