The Drunken Irish Nation of Drugged Monkeys is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Frank Sinatra with an even hand, and notable for its strictly enforced bedtime, anti-smoking policies, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate population of 33.988 billion Drugged Monkeys are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Environment, Healthcare, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hoboken. The average income tax rate is 90.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming a Drugged Monkey economy, worth a remarkable 2,538 trillion dollars a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector is solely comprised of the Tourism industry. Average income is 74,692 dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Homophobia is off the menu, stealing from a clothesline is a serious offence, the thin blue line is composed of picketing police officers demanding better pensions, and sports fans complain that cricket tests now last an unbearable ten days. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Drugged Monkeys's national animal is the drugged monkey, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Drugged Monkeys is ranked 28,260^th in the world and 658^th in the South Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 83.78 law-abiding acts per hour.