The Democratic Republic of Avistonia is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Zevŏn Haśt with a fair hand, and remarkable for its pith helmet sales, unlimited-speed roads, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 1.434 billion Avistonians enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ańat. The average income tax rate is 37.7%.

The thriving Avistonian economy, worth 113 trillion Kĭsøins a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Gambling, and Furniture Restoration. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 79,361 Kĭsøins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.2 times as much as the poorest.

Kids refer to anything below the neck as "the parts that shall not be named", the government believes there is no problem that raising taxes won't fix, everyone wants to be on the guest list for diplomatic parties, and things are looking up for patients accidentally prescribed erectile dysfunction medication. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Avistonia's national animal is the Pŏrsiķt, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Ipñoteç.

Avistonia is ranked 82,475^th in the world and 1,708^th in The North Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring 24.9 on the Scary Big Number Scale.