The Federal Republic of Vesuva is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Akal Pakal with an even hand, and notable for its smutty television, ubiquitous missile silos, and free-roaming dinosaurs. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 20.434 billion Vesuvans are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Changeling. The average income tax rate is 96.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Vesuvan economy, worth a remarkable 3,127 trillion Vesuvan dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 153,063 Vesuvan dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The question "please would you...?" is usually laden with passive aggression, escaped birthday balloons are torpedoed out of the sky, libraries are now installed with jacuzzis and mini-bars, and they who do not work shall not eat. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Vesuva's national animal is the Scorpion, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Vesuva is ranked 289,097^th in the world and 6,254^th in The North Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -613.53 on the Scary Big Number Scale.