The Holy Empire of Paladani is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Supreme Bishop with an even hand, and notable for its avowedly heterosexual populace, public floggings, and national health service. The compassionate, devout population of 2.877 billion Paladanians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The enormous, moralistic, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Holyland. The average income tax rate is 97.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Paladanian economy, worth 433 trillion Paladanian Prayers a year, is highly specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Information Technology, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 150,847 Paladanian Prayers, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government has begun breaking all large businesses into thousands of mom-and-pop general stores, the government says only criminals harp on about "innocent until proven guilty", immersive video game experiences are interrupted by incessant disclaimer pop-ups, and the government is hoping that medical aid will speak louder than human rights abuses. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Paladani's national animal is the Trinity Lamb, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Christianity.

Paladani is ranked 275,985^th in the world and 5,750^th in The North Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -285.59 on the Scary Big Number Scale.