The United Provinces of Balzaria is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, notable for its complete lack of prisons, anti-smoking policies, and hatred of cheese. The compassionate, democratic population of 21.703 billion Balzarians enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, liberal, socially-minded morass — juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Environment, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Balzarus. The average income tax rate is 92.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Balzarian economy, worth a remarkable 1,874 trillion balzans a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector is solely comprised of the Book Publishing industry. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 86,354 balzans, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Residents of ageing concrete tower blocks have vital renovation work stopped by Brutalism enthusiasts, the Messiah (formerly known as Brian) is a mayoral candidate, small patches of desolate land across the world are part of Balzarian sovereign territory, and there is something rotten in the state of Balzaria. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Balzaria's national animal is the wagtail, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Balzaria is ranked 289,512^th in the world and 6,304^th in The North Pacific for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring -17.29 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.