The Most Serene Republic of Phoronu is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by G Edwardius with an even hand, and renowned for its smutty television, pith helmet sales, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, cheerful population of 15.701 billion Phoronuans are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Phoronus. The average income tax rate is 97.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Phoronuan economy, worth a remarkable 2,738 trillion Phoronuan Dollars a year, is highly specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 174,439 Phoronuan Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Signs saying "No Poor People or Weirdoes" are common outside shops and cafés, the nation's democracy attracts huddled masses yearning to breathe free, boats straying just metres away from the shore will raise the ire of the Coast Guard, and the freedom to be free is always just out of reach. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Phoronu's national animal is the Quick Toed Sloth, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Non-Movementarianism.

Phoronu is ranked 2,968^th in the world and 148^th in The North Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 131.12 law-abiding acts per hour.