The United Christmas States of Randoes is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by your mom with a fair hand, and renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, smutty television, and otherworldly petting zoo. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 5.151 billion Randoesians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, corrupt, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, is solely concerned with Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Fjords. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Rando economy, worth a remarkable 1,252 trillion Gold Bars a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Soda Sales, Gambling, and Information Technology. Average income is an amazing 243,249 Gold Bars, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,379,103 per year while the poor average 20,976, a ratio of 65.7 to 1.

Teach an angler how to phish and he can make a living, people are always complaining about dam builders running behind schedule, they say that Randoesians made a dessert and called it peace, and nuclear physics is the most popular course at university. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Randoes's national animal is the hamster, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Randoes is ranked 285,742^nd in the world and 6,098^th in The North Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -451.27 on the Scary Big Number Scale.