The United Provinces of Aeolist is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by President Cooper Hooper with an even hand, and notable for its frequent executions, national health service, and free-roaming dinosaurs. The compassionate, devout population of 17.8 billion Aeolistites have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Telic. The average income tax rate is 70.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Aeolistiti economy, worth a remarkable 3,404 trillion Mernas a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 191,243 Mernas, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Officer recruitment and police brutality have reached an all-time high, employers may fire workers without giving any reason, the Telic Pride Parade's head banner explains how unionizing is heteronormative, and foreign workers are flooding in as Mernas flood out. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Aeolist's national animal is the Aeolistite Hawk, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Christianity.

Aeolist is ranked 16,676^th in the world and 671^st in The North Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 92.56 law-abiding acts per hour.