The Democratic States of New Xyroxes is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by Zylon Kromak with a fair hand, and remarkable for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, free-roaming dinosaurs, and national health service. The compassionate, democratic population of 5.357 billion New Xyroxesians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Xyloth. The average income tax rate is 74.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient New Xyroxesian economy, worth 761 trillion Credits a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 142,079 Credits, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

More than one company makes the board game Monopoly, one can wake up in New Xyroxes and have breakfast in Bigtopia, endangered bison are herded across the border to prevent them from trampling on native prairie grass, and teenage TV characters are played by thirty-year-olds by the end of the second season. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. New Xyroxes's national animal is the BearSquirrel, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Pastafarianism.

New Xyroxes is ranked 285,979^th in the world and 6,111^th in The North Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -456.26 on the Scary Big Number Scale.