The United Republican Federation of Mortionia is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Gustavo Rasdrani with a fair hand, and remarkable for its keen interest in outer space, national health service, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, democratic population of 4.002 billion Mortionians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, liberal, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Morbinville. The average income tax rate is 90.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Mortionian economy, worth 623 trillion Mortionian lire a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 155,879 Mortionian lire, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

A popular saying is "a chicken for every pot and an abortion clinic on every street", traumatised refugees have a full bedpan shoved into their hands along with their immigration papers, fixing attendance at women's matches is a matter of "when they go low, we go high... funding", and construction workers evacuate work sites after finding sharp rocks on the ground. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Mortionia's national animal is the Morbius, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Mortionia is ranked 280,225^th in the world and 5,897^th in The North Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -337.86 on the Scary Big Number Scale.