The Please Don't Open That of Bleakfoot is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Governor Laithwaite Canker with an even hand, and renowned for its infamous sell-swords, lack of airports, and hatred of cheese. The compassionate, cheerful population of 9.666 billion Bleakfeet enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Winterharbour. The average income tax rate is 99.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Bleakfeese economy, worth a remarkable 1,749 trillion honks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 181,025 honks, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

People can't decide between preserving forests and buying print copies of 'Dogman Versus The Giggler', dog owners proudly declare that their pups can predict when the mailman will arrive, Governor Laithwaite Canker's reputation is hard as nails, and cyber-crime and tin-foil hat sales are both increasing at record rates. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Bleakfoot's national animal is the long pig, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Not opening things.

Bleakfoot is ranked 2,919^th in the world and 65^th in the South Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 131.35 law-abiding acts per hour.