The Onward Light of Kaschovia is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Albus Karelka III with a fair hand, and renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, deadly medical pandemics, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 11.368 billion Kaschovians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The relatively small, corrupt, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kaiseva. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 26.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Kaschovian economy, worth a remarkable 3,351 trillion Kaschis a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Retail, Arms Manufacturing, and Gambling. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an amazing 294,781 Kaschis, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,619,119 per year while the poor average 27,278, a ratio of 59.4 to 1.

Wilderness-dwelling hermits are surprised to find railway stations on their front doorsteps, Jennifer Government is a bestseller, graffiti graces every city's streets, and owning a tractor is widely regarded as an essential prerequisite to most government positions. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Kaschovia's national animal is the Kulevian Butterfly, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Atheism.

Kaschovia is ranked 293,160^th in the world and 6,416^th in The North Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 4.3 law-abiding acts per hour.